iliyon / up, up and away
bliss is your birthright

19 // in love w scott mccall
“i hope you learn to block out the words that will just devestate you. that's been a tough lesson for me to learn."

(Source: sexystarlord)



I will love you when the street lights turn off. Even when
you take a shower and track water everywhere, I will love
you. I will love you when you are low tide and I am the shore.
Even when you won’t touch me, I will ache for more. I will
love you even though you haven’t read a novel since 9th
grade and use mine as coasters. I’ll love you when you use
my good body wash as shampoo. If we wrestle, and this
time you let me lose, I will love you. When you try to fix the
TV, but you break it more, I will love you. I will still love you
when you do the same to me. Every day that I am thunder and
you strike me like lightning, I will follow the source of your
electricity to the ground and quiet myself to watch you glow.
Because no one is guaranteed this. As such, I will love you
hard. I will love you steady. I will love you. God, I will love you.
Mo Nyamweya, In which we are too much for each other (via moygay)


You are not brave because you said no, or brave because you ran away, or because you looked love in the face and said “not today.” There is nothing courageous about the way you left me, open handed, palms outwards, waiting. I was standing at your door and I was saying “I will take you as you are if you will do the same for me.” You didn’t know how to. No one had taught you that wanting someone desperately is like sliding out of your clothes and out of your skin and laying yourself at their feet. All skin and no walls. All soul and no teeth, no metal, no keys. No one had shown you how lovely vulnerability can be. How proud it is to be naked in front of someone. Fully clothed, naked. Arms full of heart. Heart full of rain. Body like an olive branch, I am telling you that I love you today. I am telling you that I am not scared to be fragile in front of you. I am telling you that I trust you to look after my gentle. Keep it safe, don’t keep it hidden. They say that giving your name to someone is giving them power over you. I wrote my name on your wrists. I wrote it in your mouth. Whispered it into your ear. I said “here, this is who I am, do what you will with it. I am not scared. I am not frightened.” Even then, even after that, in that quiet rain filled room I watched you stitch yourself back up again and turn away, I watched you do it without me. I kept my hands open anyway, just in case. Here, the mattress is asking you what you’re doing. Here, the walls have known how you sound when you murmur my name. Here, everything is wondering where your brave is. Where has your courage gone? Where is your wolf? I know that you can feel in colours that haven’t been invented yet. I know that you’re trembling beneath your soldier body. I would have loved you enough for the both of us. Until then, I will run through the streets after dark holding a sign that says ‘I SURVIVED LOVING A MAN WHO DID NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE ME BACK AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.’
Azra.T “not leaving your heart wide open was the most cowardly thing you’ll ever do”  (via 5000letters)


Also, on a completely unrelated note, I have at least half a dozen messages asking me for the URL mccallmemaybe and as I don’t use it anymore, I should probably give it away but like..that was my baby so I can’t and I’m sorry but it’s singlehandedly the wittiest thing I’ve ever managed to pull from my tangled mess of mind. I just hold too much pride in that shit. K, I love you, bye.



On Sam Pepper to the Comment Section of Youtube

I think there are very few times in the world there is wrong and right or black and white. I think this is the only time I will ever outright and publicly say there is and I’m not the wrong..because there is and I’m not.

Sam Pepper isn’t the victim and I’m happy to see all sound minded people and a large majority of people commenting on the current situation in general do realize this. If anything good comes from this it’s these two things: Sam will be blacklisted from the YouTube community itself (as well events surrounding it), as well as being exiled by many previous fans and subscribers. Additionally, my faith continues to be affirmed in primarily young girls, but also grown women and males of various ages. They can and are looking past either personal relationships or a previous idolization / general like for Sam and deem his actions as wrong..even if they wish they didn’t have to.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the comment sections and replies via blog posts originating from various victims shaming them. As I mentioned, I’m impressed by most of the people commenting on the situation. They understand the severity and they believe, sympathize and respected the girls who have come out to speak about their experiences with Sam, but there are always exceptions in every situation.

How someone could be oblivious and awful enough to have the audacity to go after any female or male that makes those kind of statements is beyond me. It’s disgusting, discouraging and worrying to me on a very real, very personal level. Because making those kind of accusations against anyone is terrifying, but making them against a big name..I don’t get to try to describe that, because I’ve never had to go through that. And my best guess is, neither have you.

With the reminder that you haven’t lived their life and haven’t gone and aren’t going through their struggles, I’d like to say this: you don’t get to tell them why their story isn’t plausible or believable. You don’t get to demand proof. You aren’t allowed to shame them for the timing of their confessions, for the way they choose to express them and for the actions that you feel deem them as ”asking for it.” There is a lot left up for opinion in this world, but the law isn’t. The actions taken by Sam in the initial video alongside the accusations made against him in the past few days are all illegal. Penetration without consent isn’t the beginning and the end. Manipulation, while in a place of power or otherwise, in order to obtain what you what from someone else isn’t legal.

And how dare anyone ever try to take away the voice of these victims (or any victim of any crime). Despite what you personally decided the severity of the crime was, how much time has lapsed since the actual event occurred or what ”wrong” actions you believe they took in order to get them to whatever place they were at where Sam found the opportunity to carry these actions out - he still showed illegal, abusive, manipulative and inhumane behavior.

That’s what it comes down to. That’s how it’s going to stay. Your sick idea of ”asking for it” doesn’t actually hold any bearing in the court of law, but I guess you’re entitled to keep talking that bullshit with an equal amount or entitlement that I have to shut it down.



You can’t be a fox and a wolf.

(Source: royalhale)



(Source: duduhale)



me when i am mildly inconvenienced: thIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME
me when i am legitimately hurt/distressed: no no it's fine i've had worse



This is how we talk about female leaders, and it isn’t pretty.



(Source: emilianclarke)